The etiquette of writing save-the-date cards often leaves people wondering: on save-the-dates, which name goes first? It's a common question, especially for couples new to wedding planning. While there's no strict rule set by Emily Post or Mrs.iety herself, there are some guidelines to follow.
Save-the-dates are meant to inform guests of your wedding date, ensuring they can reserve the day in their calendars. The card typically includes both the bride's and groom's names, but the order can vary depending on your preference and cultural traditions.
Traditional Order: Bride First
The traditional order, still widely used today, places the bride's name first. This follows the historical convention where the bride's name was used to host the event. It's a safe choice that aligns with many guests' expectations.
Here's an example: "Join us in celebrating the marriage of Jane Smith and John Doe. We've set a date for Saturday, the 15th of October, 2023."
Variations on the Traditional Order
Some modern couples prefer to include both names without a specific order, using an ampersand (&) or "and" to connect the names. This option is gaining popularity as couples aim for a more equal and less traditional tone.
Example: "Join us in celebrating Jane Smith & John Doe. We've set a date for Saturday, October 15, 2023."
Groom's Name First: Breaking Tradition
In cultures where the groom's family typically hosts the wedding, the groom's name may appear first. This isn't common in Western cultures but can be used creatively by couples who want to express their unique story.
Example: "Join John Doe and Jane Smith in celebration of their marriage. Our special day is set for Saturday, October 15, 2023."
When in Doubt, Ask Yourself
Ultimately, the order of names on save-the-date cards is a matter of personal preference. It's essential to choose what feels right for you as a couple. Here are a few questions to guide you:
What Does My Culture Dictate?
Consider your cultural background and any family traditions that might influence the name order.
What Do Our Hearts Say?
Your relationship is unique, and your save-the-date can reflect that. If one of you has always dreamt of being the focus, or if you share a deep connection to equality, let your instincts guide you.
In the end, whether you follow tradition or break from it, your save-the-date cards are about celebrating your love and inviting others to share in your joy. So, have fun with the process, and most importantly, make it a true reflection of you as a couple.