The cult classic TV show What We Do in the Shadows, a mockumentary-style comedy series created by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, has become a pop culture phenomenon since its debut in 2019. Known for its witty humor, clever writing, and unique take on the vampire genre, the show consistently delivers quotable lines that have taken the internet by storm. Let's dive into some of the most memorable lines from this hilarious and bewitching series.
From the Andreas deities Nandor, Lazlo, Nadja, Colin Robinson, and Guillermo, each character brings their distinct personality and humorous quirks to the screen, resulting in an abundance of quotable moments. As the Vampires of Staten Island navigate modern life, they leave a trail of iconic wisecracks in their wake. Let's explore some of these unforgettable lines from What We Do in the Shadows.
Nandor the Relentless
Nandor, the ancient and powerful vampire played by Kayvan Novak, is a source of endless entertainment with his sophisticated and often blunt demeanor. His lines are a perfect blend of humor and deadpan delivery.
One of Nandor's most memorable lines comes from the pilot episode when he's attempting to explain the modern world to his new assistant, Guillermo: "Guillermo, turn the pages. We must catch up on our pop culture. Oh, I can't believe it. It's a show about vampires, but they sparkle. How stupid! I look like liquid gold when I'm on fire!"
Nandor's Pride
Nandor's immense pride in his age and power is a running gag throughout the series. In one instance, he confidently states, "I was there when they built the pyramids, Guillermo. I couldn't get them to add a pool, but I did get them to layer the stones. Now that's clever design." This line showcases Nandor's belief in his own superiority while also displaying his vanity.
Another gem from Nandor's Pride collection is from Season 2, Episode 10, where he tells Guillermo, "I am a god, Guillermo. I can remake the heavens with just a snap of my fingers. I just choose not to because I find that it's disruptive to the local weather." Nandor's casual dismissiveness of his own god-like powers is both hilarious and humbling.
Nandor's Patience
Despite his fierce nature, Nandor often displays surprising patience, especially with Guillermo. In Season 1, Episode 5, Nandor's frustration leads to one of the show's most iconic lines: "You have the underestimated me, Guillermo! You have underestimated Nandor the Relentless! But unlike some vampires, I have patience. I can wait one thousand years for you to feed me, Guillermo. Do you understand? I have all the time in the world, Guillermo. I have none of your time in the world."
This line not only showcases Nandor's patience but also demonstrates the dynamic between Nandor and his familiar, Guillermo, making it a fan-favorite quote.
Moving on from Nandor's entertaining antics, let's explore some other beloved lines from What We Do in the Shadows.
Lazlo, Nadja, and Colin Robinson's Hilarious One-Liners
The trio of Matt Berry (Lazlo), Natasia Demetriou (Nadja), and Mark Proksch (Colin Robinson) deliver countless laughs with their unique characters and witty banter.
In Season 2, Episode 6, Lazlo provides a hilarious commentary on the human condition with the line, "That's just a terrible start to a seven-hour streaming biography, I think. 'He was born. Then he lived.'" This line perfectly encapsulates Lazdo's dry wit and dismissiveness of human affairs.
Nadja's Sass
Nadja, the enigmatic and seductive vampire, is never short on sassy comebacks. A standout moment comes in Season 2, Episode 2, when she confidently declares, "I am very modern, Guillermo. Not just a thirsty little whore, like some vampires I know." Nadja's self-awareness and ability to turn a phrase make her one of the show's most captivating characters.
In another memorable moment, Nadja offers advice to the fledgling vampire, The Turned, in Season 2, Episode 6: "Don't feed from the kinky ones. They taste like opportunity, but it's a trap. Before you know it, you're chained to a cross, and someone is videotaping you, and you're not even getting paid for it." Nadja's wisdom and world-weariness make this line both humorous and valuable.
Colin Robinson's Energy-draining Wit
Colin Robinson, an energy vampire, brings a unique brand of humor to the series with his deadpan delivery and dry wit. In Season 1, Episode 3, he perfectly sums up his existence with the line, "I'm an energy vampire, Guillermo. I feed off the lifeforce of the living. I'm like a plant, just with more self-awareness." This line not only explains Colin's power but also serves as a relatable metaphor for modern life.
In Season 2, Episode 2, Colin reveals one of the show's most underappreciated truths: "It's surprisingly difficult to focus on something that's only been invented for about five years. It's all new to me, Guillermo. I was born in feudal Scotland. I was a shepherd. My four best friends were sheep, and I was the only one without wool." Colin's struggle with modern technology is a testament to the series' ability to blend humor with the relatable.
The House's Dark History and Modern-day Shenanigans
Beyond the characters' memorable lines, the house itself is a character, with its own rich history and dark past. The conglomerate of hilarious events and supernatural goings-on within the house provides plenty of comedic gold, including some of the show's most quotable moments.
In Season 1, Episode 2, the crew discovers a hidden room filled with treasures and mementos from their long lives: "We found a hidden room. It's like discovering the tomb of a pharaoh, Nandor. A queer, British, knives-in-my-pocket pharaoh." This line not only highlights the vampire's age and experience but also showcases their diverse backgrounds and perspectives.
The House's Present-day Politics
The house's modern-day inhabitants often find themselves entangled in the politics of their new (and ever-changing) neighborhood. In Season 2, Episode 1, Nadja laments their dismal political prospects: "We've had to fight for our rights as vampires for centuries. But this? This is just... it's exhausting. It's like surviving the Spanish Inquisition, and then some idiot puts up a 'Keep Staten Island Kook-Free' sign." Nadja's exasperation with the modern political landscape is a relatable and hilarious observation.
In another political-dilemma-filled episode, Season 3, Episode 4, Colin Robinson provides a scathing commentary on the state of vampire rights: "We're just trying to live our undead lives in peace, but no. Now we've got to worry about graffiti artists with a grudge against vampires, and who knows who else is out there, just trying to make a point about our lack of everyday rights?" This line highlights the show's ability to blend humor with issues of representation and rights, making it feel both relevant and relatable.
The final season of What We Do in the Shadows has left fans craving more, but the series' wealth of memorable lines and darkly comedic moments will keep audiences laughing and quoting for years to come. As the Vampires of Staten Island continue their endless quest for supernatural dominance and modern acceptability, they leave an indelible mark on pop culture, ensuring that their iconic phrases live on.
So, the next time you find yourself in a precarious situation or need a quick laugh, remember the immortal words of Nandor the Relentless: "Just stake them in the heart, Guillermo. It's not that hard." And thus, the eternal cycle of vampire drama and hilarity continues.