When it comes to finding humor in the most unlikely places, one might not immediately think of wood. However, delve a little deeper into the world of music, and you'll find a surprising abundance of comedic gold hidden within songs about wood, trees, and the humble lumberjack. These songs span various genres, from folk and bluegrass to rock and pop, each one offering a unique perspective on the versatile material that has inspired laughter and good times for centuries.
So, grab your imaginary axe, and let's chop our way through some of the funniest songs about wood. Remember, some of these tracks might not be safe for work, but they're certainly safe for a good laugh!
The Art of Lumberjacking
No list of funny songs about wood would be complete without paying homage to the noble lumberjack. These hardworking individuals have provided us with centuries of comic material, from cartoon characters like Woody Woodpecker to the hilarious scenarios depicted in countless jokes. It's only fitting that they should have their place in the musical hall of fame as well.
From the bluegrass scene, we have the timeless classic "The Big Rock Candy Mountain," which, despite its seemingly innocent lyrics, is actually a humorous depiction of the hobo life, filled with coded references to bootlegging and "the buzzard in the flue" (a nod to cigarettes). This song is an early example of the comedic potential of the musical storytelling tradition.
Bobby Picket's "Monster's Holiday"
While not strictly about wood, Bobby Picket's "Monster's Holiday" is a Halloween classic that deserves a mention. This novelty song features Vampire, Werewolf, and even the Headless Horseman discussing their plans for Christmas, with the vampire lamenting that he has no wood to lay by the fire because it "burns [him] up." The line is a clever play on the vampire's traditional fear of wood, and it sets the stage for a hilarious and eerie holiday celebration.
Another worth-mentioning track is "Theourcing Song" by the Muppets, which humorously explores the struggle of finding office supplies in a world where everything is made from wood. Kermit, Miss Piggy, and the rest of the gang sing about their plight, yarn lyrics such as "I got a paper clip, got a paper clip, what am I gonna do? I got a paper clip, but it's made from wood too!" The song is a comedic commentary on the perils of bureaucracy and the seemingly limitless variety of office supplies.
Weird Al Yankovic's "Gump"
No discussion of funny songs about wood would be complete without mentioning the king of musical parody, "Weird Al" Yankovic. In his song "Gump," a spoof of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise," Weird Al chronicles the misadventures of a wayward woodcarver who embarks on a violent spree, using his carpentry tools as weapons. The song is filled with clever wordplay and hilarious references to classic films like "The Silence of the Lambs" and "Psycho."
At one point, the song's narrator proclaims, "I poisoned Little Billy's woodshop glue, now he's stuck in a tree, and I'm feeling quite woozy, but I couldn't be bluer if I was made of wood." This line showcases Weird Al's gift for transforming ordinary words into comedic gold.
Trees, Not Just for Hugging
Beyond the laughter inspired by lumberjacks and their tools, the humble tree has also provided a wealth of comedic material. From the old standby, "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta," to the more recent "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field," trees have long been a source of punny humor.
One song that capitalizes on this trend is "The Pine-Sol Active Lady" by The Weather Machine. ThisPop song tells the story of a frugal woman who uses Pine-Sol to clean everything, from her floors to her clothes, leading to a string of comedic mishaps. The song is a clever parody of advertisers' claims about the product's versatility, and it features a catchy, upbeat melody that's sure to have you singing along and laughing in no time.
Sousa's "Washington Post March" Meets Monty Python
A more unexpected source of laughs when it comes to trees is the classic march "The Washington Post." The song's staccato rhythm and straightforward melody have been famously parodied by Monty Python in their sketch "The Lumberjack Song," in which a reformed lumberjack laments his previous occupation by singing, "I cut down trees, I poisoned the cattle..." Set to the tune of "The Washington Post," the song is a hilarious commentary on the environmental consequences of deforestation and the difficulties of finding meaningful work in an unappreciative world.
The final line of the song, "I'd just want to be alone," sums up the frustrations of the reformed lumberjack and serves as a touching reminder of the human cost of environmental destruction.
Mystery Science Theater 3000's "If You Build A Better Mousetrap"
Lastly, we can't forget the comedic team of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K). In their memorable song "If You Build A Better Mousetrap," the robotic casts riffs on the famous quote and reimagines it as a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the perils of capitalism and the importance of community. The song features clever lyrics, such as "If you build a better mousetrap, how much competition can you stand?" and "If you build a better mousetrap, don't you cheat the mice?"
The song is a testament to the show's ability to find humor in even the most mundane or seemingly unfunny subjects, and it serves as a fitting conclusion to our exploration of the funny side of wood and its many musical manifestations.
In the end, whether we're laughing at the misadventures of a wayward woodcarver or groaning at the punny limitations of a fictional office supply shortage, there's no denying that wood has provided us with a wealth of comedic material. So, the next time you find yourself reaching for a pen or penciling in a doctor's appointment, take a moment to appreciate the enduring humor hidden within these everyday items – and the musicians who bring it to life through song. Happy listening!